Today’s episode is about….nothing! Well, there’s no structure or 7-step checklists in this one, but James and Phoebe do have a candid and casual conversation on everything from fear, the problems with goal setting, what part passion plays in success and so much more!
Do you have a fear getting in the way of launching your own podcast, product or business? Phoebe is working on this herself as she’s changing directions in her own business. To get over it, she’s learned to trust herself and realize that the fear is part of her entrepreneurial journey.
James adds that if your product doesn’t sell or “flops,” it doesn’t mean anything at all unless you let it. Consider what’s the worst thing that can happen, and then come up with contingency plans based on this.
Silicon Valley has a saying: fail fast, fail often and fail forward. You need to be the scientist in your business by always hypothesizing and testing things to see what works, and what doesn’t.
Goal setting can be a trap that we fall into in that a goal has nothing to do with who we are personally. It really just identifies what game we want to play, and when you’re able to detach from the outcome of your goals, you will start to have more fun.
If you do what you’re passionate about, like helping others, then business growth is a natural by-product.
You only learn by doing, and failing in the process. From a mindset perspective, there has to be a sense of “knowing.” You’ve got to lead with this and let it guide you!
According to James, self-doubt is the number one thing that’s keeping you from getting what you want.
Blend what you’re passionate about with where you can provide value, and most importantly, where you can get paid (because it’s a business after all)!
Phoebe likes the idea of getting good at something and then it can become a passion, rather than pressuring yourself to determine what your passion is. James shares that action will help you get more specific on what your true passion is.
James notes that an entrepreneur is the person who is always seeking the new opportunity, and he contrasts this with someone who is just a business owner.
There is a direct correlation between being successful and the ability to reframe something that happens. There is always a positive in every circumstance.
When the thought of sharing something online scares you, this is a good sign. When you start to reveal these things to others, you connect on a deeper level, but there is also a way of sharing too much online that can be counter-intuitive.
The E-Myth Revisited by Michael E. Gerber
Are you looking for inspiration to host your own live event, or do something different with the ones you are creating? In today’s special bonus episode, James talks with Sage Lavine, CEO of Conscious Women Entrepreneurs and host of the International Women on Purpose summits. Sage shares her expertise on how you can crush it from stage, regardless if you are an introvert or an extrovert!
For about the first 8 years, James’ entire business had been made up of online courses and digital training. In the last year he’s made an effort to make it more in-person with his community, and he and his team recently just hosted the largest live event that they have ever done.
Sage notes that bringing yourself to the people that you serve is nourishing, and the attendees are really looking for a sense of belonging. Leaders are also being called into their truth or message and they need support from other people that are up to big things in the world today.
Sage started her million-dollar business in her living room, with 12 other women sitting around on purple couches. She feels that it all comes down to desire, and if you want to be in front of your people she highly recommends doing it.
There’s feedback that you get from a live room that you’re not going to get online, and “connection is currency.” This feedback can include success stories from people that you have impacted.
In a room there is more judgement than there would online. This can be scary, but Sage explains how judgment doesn’t necessarily have to be a bad thing.
When hosting an event, having a partner to “have your back” is important.
In order to drop the barrier when you get onstage, you need to be credible and then just be human and connect with the people that you’re speaking to.
You don’t have to be an extrovert to be on stage, and “hot seat” sessions and lunches allow for others to interact and form relationships. Unlike a lot of times online, relationships formed in-person can be deep and last a lifetime.
You have to flip the fear you feel when speaking and make it your friend. Sage says that when you feel the fear physically, such as in your throat or chest, it’s actually a reminder for you to connect with those that you are serving.
The fear that no one will show up to your live event is a common one, but live is a much different game than online. On a few occasions Sage had just one person show up for her speaking engagements, and in both cases she was hired by the person.
When you’re live, you don’t need many people to show up. Remember that leading events brings you credibility!
Her favorite ways to fill a room include plugging into groups that are already meeting or contacting places like day spas that can help get the word out to people you want to reach.
You don’t need to put together a full day of content when just getting started, and Sage recommends hosting two-hour events to start.
She believes that the world is hungry for more introverted leaders, like James, because they tend to be more connected to themselves and a deeper truth. Whether you’re introverted or extroverted, your people will find you.
In her years of extensive study and training others, Sage has noticed three different types of leadership style: the facilitator, the stage/spotlight and a hybrid of both.
Once you know your type, you’ll be more easily able to market your workshops accordingly and the right people will come.
A live event can transform lives, and that also includes your own. Your clients are waiting for you and not just someone like you. Get out there and keep rocking it!
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In this episode, James and Phoebe are joined by Lana Shlafer to talk all about manifesting miracles. Lana is a coach, author, mastermind facilitator and online program creator, and she shares the four modes of visioning that she uses to deliberately focus on what she wants in life, and how you can do the same!
Lana came to the United States at the age of 12 after growing up in communist Russia, where she says she wasn’t exposed to concepts like manifesting miracles and spirituality.
She graduated with a degree in Political Economy from Berkeley, which led to a 6-figure salary in the financial services field. Despite this, Lana says that she was absolutely miserable.
“I worked so hard to get to this point, that it was always a carrot in front of me”
She left this job and moved to Southern California where she got a position as a success coach at a university, but made much less money doing this. This was her first taste of making an impact in the lives of others though, which she really enjoyed.
Lana studied yoga and she taught it in Mexico, and then went to grad school to study psychology in order to find her own happiness and fill a void that she had felt ever since she was a child.
After meeting her husband, with the assistance of a mid-wife she had twins that were born 33 hours apart. After living through miracles such as this, Lana wanted to teach clients how they too could create miracles in their own lives.
“In the mind stuff, that’s where the root of everything you want is”
To her, manifesting is actually being deliberate about what you create instead of doing it by default.
Like the quote by Einstein, you have to decide whether nothing is a miracle, or everything is, according to Lana.
“Miracles are things that haven’t happened yet; they are those sparks of inspiration”
She also says you need to understand the meaning of what’s happened to you and why it did, and once you do this you can actually derive the benefit from your experiences.
Lana believes you should celebrate things that seem small, like finding a penny, and the ways in which you attract elements of what you want.
In her corporate role in the financial world, she shares that she was hard on herself and later realized that she was trying to hide a feeling of unworthiness. This led to her going from being a star analyst with the company to not being able to even function.
Lana admits that she was suicidal at this point and that until you too hit rock bottom, it’s hard to make those drastic changes in your life like she did.
She wants people to not just take her world on what she teaches, but to try it out for themselves to see that it will work in their lives too.
“Only experience teaches; words don’t teach”
Once you realize that you are actually in charge of everything that happens in your life, you will see that we all have filters through which we perceive any circumstance.
Lana adds that pain is an amazing teacher and it puts your back against the wall. Necessity is the mother of invention, but pain is the mother of transformation.
She uses all of her experiences, even the painful ones, to create a life that is tailor-made for her, by her.
Lana teachers other to slow down the momentum of undesirable things and add positive momentum. You can do this by meditating, going to the beach or doing something that you enjoy and just allow this to happen.
“It doesn’t matter what you do, as long as you step out of the patterns of thought that are keeping you stuck”
The more she allows herself to receive support from others and let them do what’s in the zone of their genius, the easier her life and business has become.
Lana’s Modes of Visioning:
Guided Imagery ("Visualization")
Often referred to as visualization, you receive the idea and recognize when it’s a great light or a red light. She creates a movie in her mind and focuses on the feeling more than anything.
Written Visioning (“Scripting”)
This is where you put your intentions down on paper and describe how you want to feel. The act of writing it all down makes it more tangible!
Again, how do you want to feel? Speak it out to yourself through affirmations, or to others in the form of a mastermind group.
You can express your vision in a non-verbal way, or without written words. For her launch, Lana found a creative way to represent the participants on poster boards as an act of celebrating her accomplishments.
Look for your own way of visioning and when you can deliberately focus on it, it will feel good and you’ll be on your way to manifesting your own miracles!
Everybody has a story, and on today’s episode, James and Phoebe explore why authentically sharing yours is so important to what you do!
James admits that he has gotten by for 9 years without telling others much of his own story, but whenever and wherever you speak to others, the audience will be asking themselves why you do what you do. For this reason, your story becomes a powerful context that can entertain, educate and ultimately put all of their questions to rest.
“When you get clarity on (your) story, you get clarity on why you do what you do”
Although Phoebe hasn’t been broke or homeless, she’s suffered losses and personal heartbreak in a different way that allows her to connect with others.
When selling, online especially, you need to share your truth so you can build that “know, like and trust” factor that is needed with others.
James realized that him minimizing his story is actually part of his story, and he figured out why he was doing that, which in turn has become a big part of his story as well.
There are questions and prompts you can ask yourself, which will help you uncover your authentic story:
To answer these questions, you have to take a step back and look at the big picture that is your life, all of the events, and string them together to discover the meaning.
James grew up with the belief that image and reputation was everything, as a result of his family being in real estate in a small community. He was giving other people’s opinions so much power that in high school he made himself “invisible.”
In his 20’s, he came to realize how small he was playing by having a personal brand, but still trying to be invisible at the same time. He found out though that everyone he was afraid was judging him was just as scared of the same thing happening to them.
As a follow up question to “How did I learn to survive,” you can ask yourself what has been the impact of that survival mechanism. What is the negative consequence and what does that keep you from?
From a young age Phoebe was taught not to show emotions because they are a sign of weakness. Her defining moment was her dad passing away when she was 18 years old. The messages she told herself was that the people that you trust and love the most will always leave you. She survived by not trusting people, or letting them into her life, which eventually led to her appeasing and caring for people so much so they would love her and wouldn’t end up leaving.
James believes that we often don’t tell our story, or minimize it, because we’re trying to hide a piece of who we are. We’re afraid that if we share that, something bad will happen. However, it’s in the revealing of this that we can have the deepest connection with others.
If you’re in the personal brand space, your story is so essential. Don’t make the mistake of minimizing it!
The Power of Believing In Others by Dan Martell (YouTube)
Today, James and Phoebe share their thoughts on whether or not we’re able to create our own realities, while discussing the role and importance that our beliefs have in this entire process.
There’s an old saying that information, plus motivation, equals change. We’ve been raised to believe this, but for most people it just doesn’t work.
When considering the concept of reality, there’s a law of duality that states that the opposite exists for everything in this Universe, and one thing can’t exist without its opposite. When he’s sad or frustrated, James reminds himself that it’s those times that will make him appreciate the good ones.
As humans, we tend to put labels on everything and we can say that our physical reality actually requires our consciousness in order to make these differentiations and distinctions. Therefore, everything out there is only an interpretation that we have given it, but has no inherent meaning.
He shares that when we experience an event, we then create an interpretation and from that interpretation we then create a belief, which really does lead to us creating our own realities.
We all have beliefs, but the problem is that we don’t see them as beliefs. When James attended a Tony Robbins event and was asked to write his down, he had trouble as he didn’t walk around with a knowingness of what his beliefs were.
A belief is simply a statement about reality that you think is the truth, versus just a truth. This literally colors how we see, experience and interpret the world outside of us. If we can stat looking at these beliefs, then we can have a real lasting change and impact in our lives.
Our beliefs lead us to conclusions about our identity as a person, such as, “I’m not enough”, or “I’m not worthy.” When people believe that they are not worthy until they are the best at something, their whole life will be run by that belief.
You create the beliefs, and that means you are the creator of your life and your reality. This means that if you alter your beliefs, you begin to alter your reality and begin getting the results that you want!
On today’s show, James and Phoebe look at 13 habits that you can start using today to manifest more money, and more importantly more abundance, into your life.
We all manifest what comes into our lives, but how can we hone and refine this? James manifested a Tesla car recently and shares a great story on how this came to be.
The desire helps you identify what you truly want, but to truly get it, you have to act as though you already have it.
Instead of trying to manifest more money, look at what you would do with the money. How would you spend it and what kind of experiences would you create for yourself and your family?
James used to think that having more money would solve his problems. However, if we’re thinking this way, we’re actually doing things backwards and not manifesting abundance.
For 2017, Phoebe is looking to create the experience at her home where she feels safe and secure, as well as being connected with friends. She’s doing this instead of worrying and focusing on what products she’ll be creating next year.
13 habits to manifest more money:
1) Practice gratitude
Gratitude is what unlocks it all, as it is the attraction vibration. If we are talking about attracting more money, then we want to be grateful for the money that we do have. If you’re an entrepreneur, try looking at the revenue you have generated and realize that the money you created can be huge.
2) Identify all the negative beliefs you have around money
If you’re not getting what you want, there’s a belief getting in the way. The challenge is that these beliefs are subconscious, and they show up to you as truths.
One common negative belief is that life is difficult. Thinking this way puts you in a lack mindset and if we hold on to this belief as being true, it doesn’t allow for more money to come in easily. Another example of a negative belief is that you have to work hard for money, and in the past Phoebe thought that when she made money, someone else would suffer.
3) Seek out abundance everywhere
You can find examples of abundance throughout nature: the grains of sand at the beach and the vast amounts of water in the ocean. Abundance is the anti-thesis of lack, which is the only thing keeping you from getting what you want.
4) Use affirmations
An example of an affirmation you can use is, “ All my money is working for me to increase my abundance and joy.” Say it as if you are telling a friend, and make sure you really believe it. This will help you to start re-wiring your brain and changing your thought patterns.
5) Clean out your wallet
Invest in a nice wallet, or even just organize your current one in a way that makes you feel abundant! You can also try filling your wallet with as many hundred-dollar bills as possible and leave a note in it as a reminder that you are indeed abundant.
6) Write out your financial goals
It’s important to have your financial goals placed somewhere you’ll see them every day. There are also exercises you can do with crystals, as well an incorporating Feng Shui into your lifestyle.
7) Get complete with any outstanding debts
If you owe money, not paying back someone that put faith in you to do so won’t help you attract abundance. Put a structure in place to tie up loose ends! If you are owed money, either be in communication with the person or drop the matter so it’s not taking up your energy.
8) Visualize “good” sprinkling down on you
There are many similar mental exercises you can practice to help manifest abundance. Phoebe pictures the roof of her home opening up, with money filling her entire home!
9) Imagine your money flowing outwards
If you pay for something and it’s an uncomfortable experience for you, you need to do some work around this. As you spend money, imagine where it is going and who it is helping. The more you do this, the more empowering relationship you’ll have with spending money.
You can donate time, money, or things that no longer serve you in your life to manifest abundance to you.
11) Save your spare change
By doing this, you’re telling The Universe that money is important to you, and money appearing to you is evidence that more will be coming to you in the future.
12) Be open to different possibilities for how money will come to you
Phoebe writes in a journal all the ways that money could come to her, and James looks at it as a radar screen that he can expand. This is where detachment comes in and things can come to you in ways that you never imagined.
13) Practice manifesting something small
Try bringing in something that has nothing to do with money, such as a small toy or candy, which will help you build your “manifesting muscle.” If you start too big, it’ll lack believability and make it more difficult to do.
Play around with two or three of these habits and see what happens! In the doing of these habits and exercises, there’s an opportunity to have fun, to experiment and to discover the magic of possibility.
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Episode 018: The Art of Feng Shui in Business with Karen Carter
Episode 066: Random Acts of Kindness
Episode 001: Why I Started This Podcast
Creating Money: Keys to Abundance by Sanaya Roman
The Desire Map by Danielle Laporte